The Chemistry of Siblinghood
Let’s face it, when you have 6 kids living under one roof, with both parents off at work and many miles (and years) away from a mall to hang out in, mayhem may ensue. Or at least chaos of a type that today would probably elicit a call from the Children’s Aid Society (helicopter parents have sure killed the joy of growing up!).
Add to that our inbred Yorkshire stubbornness and you end up with a familiar chemistry that is still evident today, more than 50 years later!
In our house we were more like three sets of twins – Pen and Richard at two years and change apart, JL and Pam (14 months) and Dodie and myself (13 months). Between each set there were a couple of years, just enough time for my parents to regroup and contemplate the insanity of bringing yet another set of gremlins into the world.
Pen and Richard, being 10 and 7 years older than I were more like aunt and the uncle people talk about. I remember Pen babysitting us when I was just a tyke, in fact I remember she seemed to spend a lot of evenings babysitting around the neighbourhood. Pen went off to university when I started Grade 2, giving up her much sought after bedroom in the basement to Richard (the upstairs dormitory sized bedroom occupancy dropping from 3 to 2). I actually don’t remember Pen and Richard ever arguing, in fact I don’t remember Pen arguing with anyone. In our world Pen’s word carried almost as much weight as Father and Mother’s, especially when accompanied by her patented withering glare.
JL and Pam were a much different story. JL was a free spirit, basically doing what he pleased. JL wasn’t 16 when he decided to head to the Okanagan to pick fruit for the Summer, dragging Richard along with him. Today people would be aghast at the thought of a 15 year old, pack on his back hitchhiking along the highway to the Interior! Interesting that during my recent visit to Vancouver Island my nephew Matt (Richard’s son) mentioned ‘riding the rails’ from Montreal to Victoria to visit his Mom when he was short of bus fare. Obviously the genes have been passed down!
Pam inherited the temper genes in the family. While sarcasm is the second language in my family, most of our snide comments rolled off or were noted for future use. Pam could bicker with the best of us but once angered could be a force to reckon with! Pam was also blessed with wickedly pointed elbows, especially at the dinner table.
Dode and I, at the bottom of the totem pole, are polar opposites. Dode loves order and conformity, a house that is ‘just so’ while I thrive on, well, chaos. My boss recently told me that I do my best work in ‘crisis management’. Dode and I probably get along best of all of us, chatting nearly daily on Messenger, texting like mad when I was visiting the Island this Summer. Growing up we spent more time getting in each others’ way or playing ‘practical jokes’ on each other (note to self: remember to write a bit about what happens when you put a stink bomb in the air ducts).
Pen I correspond with less often, usually about upcoming family events, genealogy (we are both nutty genealogists) or Sam / Lori. Richard passed a few years ago but before rarely talked, him being in Victoria and myself Ontario. JL and I chat fairly regularly and had long chats while I was visiting. Pam I haven’t spoken to in a number of years, especially since her embrace of the PPC, something that goes against every fibre of my being!
Sometimes the chemistry of siblinghood can be complicated, especially when you add in our partners in life. Growing up we bickered a lot, occasionally came to fisticuffs on the front lawn or gave each other the silent treatment for a few weeks, but at the end of the day we were and are Laws. We know we have each others’ back, even if we are mad at each other. And we have a lot of energy, the result no doubt of growing up with a lot of space to grow in.
Today the space is long, 3000 miles between myself and the rest of my siblings, but it is only distance on a map, not in our hearts.
🙂
(photo above by my Father)